dreams

at night my dreams show me dangerous things
things to real to happen when i am awake
things that haunt me, utterly
and so i lock myself up behind my covers
breathing heavily
heavily to drowned out my dreams
dreams of dancing singing, of fascinating things
but my covers betray me
they let the dreams come in
the heaviness of my breath is no match for them
in this land of dreams i am powerless
and that reality is much to real for me

7 things a man should learn before he dies

1. truth is not always what is seen by human eyes

2. life is short and often it is wasted

3. there are bitter fruits better left untasted

4. no man is an island, but the mind can be a cage

5. men are often slaves to addiction, men of every age

6. instincts are often selfish; the heart is born vain

7. to live is Christ to die is gain

04/08/09

my mind paints vast deceptions on the canvas of my memory

counterfeit colors made from humanities cursed emotions flow throughout  

so i wont look back; i will refrain from love

until my heart has been more divinely inspired to grasp such a thing

until my heart experiences the beautiful colors of truth

Trust

Will you be there for me 

or will you get scared 

eventually

will you be there tomorrow

or will you get scared 

please let me know 

because... 

i dont want to spend my time with you 

if you just gonna leave

And i want to believe that what you said is true 

but thats hard for me 

here is a song dedicated to 8th grade

i wont go the jungle gym and play

on the swings with you today

cause all my really cool friends told me that was gay

and i always listen to everything that they say 

chorus

all my friends are really co---ol 

so its okay if i'm a to---ol

cause we were to good for this scho---ol

but maybe some day we can be friends 

its not my fault that you are last pick 

when you are uncoordinated and not that quick

but maybe next year when things aren't same

then i wont have to call you lame

then you can join in the game, but not today

so mom when i'm with my homies 

please dont act like you know me 

in highschool we'll all grow go tees 

and go to of the cool pool parties 

bridge

we all play sports in our athletic shorts

could there really be any more to life i mean besides the future kids and wife 

don't ask us what we want to be when we get older 

cause all we'll do is shrug our shoulders

cause He first love me.

If there is one thing that i have learned as I have grown up, it is that people do not understand love. They mislabel love and falsly accuse love of many things
Love does not hurt people, or fool people. 
No, pain comes in the absence of love.

Pain comes in ignorance of love. 

Love is definate and clear.
People do not fall in and out of love.
Love is not a process or a phase.
Love is not merely committment, or a verb, or a "heart thing"
Loving is more that a relational value or a character trait. 
Love is more than a life style.
Withheld love is more than indifference, more than cruelty.
Withheld love is more than betrayal, treason, murder.
Withheld love is blaspemy. 
No one escapes or is free of love.
No one alive is an adequate lover or a deserving lover.
My sinful heart cannot handle love.
It cannot understand it; cannot truly achieve it, or truly recieve it
My brain cannot concieve it. 
So my heart will continue in its search and devour all that smells of love.
Sometimes tasting the bitter depraved decpetions of love that this world has made,
But always remembering the satisfaction of His love.
His love that has made my hope invincible. 
My love is all i have to give so I seek to make true, seek to worship
To make it faithful, loyal. 
To make my love His joy, and His joy to be my strength to love more.
His love is my blessing that the world needs. 
A love that is deliverance; healing; illuminating; power; unifying; dividing; eternal; sacrificial; real;
and here... now

regret

i thought my past was over, that it had come to an end
but my memory won't allow that, he's much to cruel a friend
so i walk on yesterdays path, with yesterdays dreams now gone
it is much lonelier now than it was then, just me and this gray dawn