down down down in the bottom of my mug
down in the daunting dark depths of my mug
is a place unknown underneath this sea
that hides many mysterious things from me
so i drink to reach the bottom
drink to reach beneath
sipping and lapping at the wealth of caffeine
only to find the hard surface behind it; empty
and the treasure I missed was the treasure I sipped
and it had slipped down inside of me

hate

i wish i did not have the ability to hate
then it would be easier to condemn
but as i can hate
i make a very poor judge
and i resort to hate those who do it best
i hate the ignorant
i hate the racists
i hate the violent
and i wish i could not hate them
for now that i know i am just as bad as them
well now i must love them or be them
the former the hardest
and the latter is the death of my soul
so it must be a hard road
where love rules and where love proves strong enough
for if not then then i go down watching this world plummet hopeless and dark into the depths of the depraved potential of man

breathe each breath live each moment
let no cards kept yet be folded
live till death its your life own it
kill regret always better for it

step step step

through worlds of change

the streets full of doubters

the skies are gray

burn burn burn

the institutions of age

the altars are torn down

our fathers unobeyed

dig dig dig

ditches and graves

foundations for our dreams

asylum for mistakes

careful what you wish for, most dreams are built on sand
careful what you wish for, with that fruit in your hand
careful what you wish for, you were depraved from the start
careful what you wish for, knowledge will break your heart
careful what you wish for, when your death is guaranteed
careful what you wish for, when you dont know what you need

war is worse than dead bodies, eventhough that is a good enough arguement against it.
war is the adminition that we can't just get along.
war is the breeding ground of hate.
war is the curse of sin.
war is the blasphemy of man in his unwarranted distribution of his own depraved condemnation.

any war fought with weapons fought to bring peace by death will most often lead to more war and death before peace is found.

show me a man that deserves to die.

tell me the reason i have not yet perished.

this world belongs to no man. God is the only true judge.

show me a just cause for war and i will take up the sword and fight
until then i seek peace and to love as he loved

just a sad song

my tears do not say enough
my tears offer you no love
my tears fall short

my heart's stops; overcome
by the things i havent done
i was meant for more

i just want to show you that i care
but its hard when i cant be there
so i guess i am sorry that i cant be sorry enough for you
and i dont know what else there is that i can do

but if you could see these eyes
heart my heart
you'd realize
i'm torn apart
for you

i just want to show you that i care
but its hard when i cant be there
so i guess i am sorry that i cant be sorry enough for you
and i dont know what else there is that i can do

Jesus Jesus
how real you are in my life i cant help but find you.

but what about in theirs?
are you really that strong?
really that caring?

these problems are huge
none of deserve it
how do you choose?

you are so beyond me
so beyond me...

sometimes i dont want to need you
sometimes i find it hard to believe you

find it hard to pray when you already know what i am gonna say
find hard to repent
hard to worship

bring the rain flood down again

words fall short of ears when the voice is hard to hear
but more often they fail when they come from contradictory lips

you word is not all you have
but it is definately worth protecting

the people that hear you most often can tell you whether or not you are worth listening to.
they can tell you if your trustworthy.

the people who you want to affect and bless are listening to what you are saying.
so let your yes be yes and let your no be careful but firm

recognition of the past
withered like the grass
the life that could not last
the facts that came to pass

resurrected in their fate
into a world of pain
life given much to late
death shows all thats vain

the death of the west

in america, we live lives as sojourning slaves to death

it has become our greatest fear and our greatest threat

we grasp with desperate knuckles of persisting white

at this wilting flower that is carelessly called life

and then when at last our human hold proves too weak

we send our corpses down in glossy cases six feet deep

and if today I choose to laugh in death's calloused face

then these untimely timid men would label me insane

but I do not fret at their feeble words of spoken insolence

rather I am enraged that my generation's blind in ignorance  

some secrets that are death to know
can still steal hearts in curious lust
hearts that mistake the reapers curse
as yesterday's mislabeled woe

dont ask me to reveal the truth
for surely if i did
you'd see me as the setting sun
trying to rob you of your youth

but i beseech you from your soul to yearn
for the light shinning beyond the sky
for the hope that rest in a calm cocoon
and the force in lessons you dont want to learn

if i cannot to the world supply
something greater than that which is I
then I am just a fools mistake
and I steal every breath of air i take

and if its true of my sons
that they forget themselves when they are young
then the blame falls to me
and i have lived my life wastefully

so many lessons i dont want to learn

amidst love that i dont deserve

in each sunrise new embers burn  

so much beauty i dont observe 

my mind keeps making new designs

of ways to truly be alive

while they say, "focus on the signs

or else you will not survive"

but there are some things i cannot fake

some memories that do not fade

some changes have been hard take

some mistakes i'm glad i made

if i'm supposed to know what love is in this world of brokeness
then my road is much more hopeless than I had originally feared
for, the one thing in this world i know is your smile grows beneath your tears

the measure of grace that i've been given has come in blessings from above
with the flesh of the human race forsaken, some in His image have begun to love

so i keep my eyes connected to my heart my mind
and i allow Him to help me to find
love
life

my reflection in the wishing well

holds many secrets it will not tell

but i do worry 

for the sun tells me i'm handsome with it's golden rays

and the road says i have wisdom for wandering his maze 

and the mountain set before me knows i'm good enough

to climb the peaks its holding and touch the sky above

i can here the future of your feet dragging in the dirt

followed by flying dust on a pitiful path you cant desert

it is a truly scary sound i with i didnt have to hear

because with each scraping step the noise keeps coming near

and i cant run from my ears

or catch yesterdays tears

or stop the passing of the years

but i can persist to pick up my feet and face my fears.

goodbye chi-city

see you when i get back

Uganda

so i am taking this idea from Johnny Wong so props to him.

This will be my update site for my trip.

I will be posting updates about my ministry work, prayer requests, updates about my group.

Some prayer requests before the trip

pray that God would prepare our hearts and minds as we go

pray for travel and for luggage

pray for health as we are jet lagged and transition to new food

pray that God would use us to serve

details of trip

we fly out from O'hare at 7:15 Monday night May 18th

our finaly destination will be Kampala, Uganda.

i will be serving at kampala baptist church.

cheers

here's to today to what you've been waiting for
and to your smiles as you walk across that floor

here's to the tears we will cry at your parting
to painful reminders that new pages are starting

here's to our watches that let us know we're getting older
and to the summer air that always makes us a little bolder

here's is to all the best friends who know us and still love us
to all those times they stood up to the bullies out to shove us

here's to all the things we've learned from all our education
to all the things that life's taught through painful situations

here's to tomorrow and life's bitter sweet progession
to our painful fight against our own ignorant obsessions

here's to the promise of a morning and a sunrise
and to the sunset as we watch how fast time flies